Stirring

I used to really ache for those who suffer. I would literally lose a lot of sleep crying for and praying for those who live in extreme poverty, those who have little freedom, those who are suffering from the world's injustice. I have been lamenting the lack of that sort of empathy in my life for several months now. I want to be compassionate, but I feel so hollow. I don't know where that part of me, which seemed so abundant in the past, has gone.

The other night I was reading a book called Gracias: A Latin American Journal by Henri Nouwen. One of his journal entries stirred my hunger for justice back to life a little bit. The emotions I went through when I read this section gave me a taste of what I used to feel like nearly all of the time. It is a tough, good feeling.

True prayer always involves becoming poor. When we pray we stand naked and vulnerable in front of Our Lord and show him our true condition. If one were to do this not just for oneself, but in the name of the thousands of surrounding poor people, wouldn't that be "mission" in the true sense of being sent into the world as Jesus himself was sent into the world? To lift up your hands to the Lord and show him the hungry children who play on the dusty streets, the tired women who carry their babies on their backs to the marketplace, the men who try to forget their misery by drinking too much beer on the weekends, the jobless teenagers and the homeless squatters, together with their laughter, friendly gestures, and gentle words - wouldn't that be true service? If God really exists, if he truly cares, if he never leaves his people alone, who is there to remind him of his promises? Who is there to cry out: "How long will you frown on your people's plea? . . . Turn again, we implore, look down from heaven and see. Visit this vine and protect it, the vine your right hand has planted. . . Let your face shine on us, and we shall be saved" (Ps. 80)? I feel that in a world rushing to the abyss, the need for calling God to the task, for challenging him to make his love felt among the poor, is more urgent than ever.

A friend of mine was talking today about how convicted she feels to do whatever she can to help the "least of these." She was so passionate and spoke with such conviction. It reminded me of my former, better self. I miss the old Ashley.

Mr. Spots!

I finally made it down to Mr. Spots Chai House in Ballard. Mr. Spot's is the original home of Morning Glory Chai. Morning Glory is such a tasty spicy chai. I'm not exactly sure why they call it Morning Glory, but the first time I drank it, I had such pleasant dreams that I woke up feeling really great. Morning glory! The Chai House is pretty great. When I walked in there was a lady in one corner with a massage chair set up - she was giving free back massages. I also got a free slice of homemade pizza because it got a little too crispy for them to sell.

This is a great place to come on a drizzly Seattle Sunday afternoon.

While I'm on here, I suppose I will take a moment to share the little piece of writing I did for Insight for Living's LifeTrac blog (coordinated by the one and only Robyn Roste). Anyways, the writing piece... Here it is!

The coffee is very necessary this morning...

I had to be up earlier than usual to make it down to the lower Queen Anne neighborhood for a class I am taking today. I made it with some time to spare, so I found a spot for breakfast and a triple shot Americano (I am not used to waking up this early!). So, here I am at Citizen Coffee. It is a really fun little spot, close to Seattle Center but not so close that it has any sort of touristy feel. The building is really cool, as are the employees. The coffee is nice and rich and strong, just what I need this morning! My breakfast sandwich is AMAZING. Mmmmm... eggs and bacon and tomato and and fresh basil on a yummy savory biscuit. They also serve wine and make crepes - I think it'd be fun to come here some evening and indulge in those.

Maple Leaf

This morning I have been sipping coffee and working on a research project at a place called Cloud City Coffee, in the Maple Leaf neighborhood. After reading the Wikipedia entry on this neighborhood, it just might be my new favorite neighborhood in Seattle. Here is an excerpt...

A popular story is that in the early days of Seattle's settlement the neighborhood was "so far north, it might as well have been Canada", and was named "Maple Leaf" as an inside joke.

Aw. That just warms my heart right up. Anyways, this place is pretty sweet, plus it's close to where I'm staying right now. The coffee is locally roasted, and cheap. Their drip coffee is self-serve and next to a pile o' mugs and a little piggy bank in which you put your dollar. It has a very familial feel to it - lots of people chatting it up on comfy couches, kids playing make believe, people enjoying good food together. Very nice.

Bus Instincts and Free Time

I am getting good at knowing when I need to hurry for the bus. Actually, I've probably just been getting lucky with catching the bus lately, but I'm going to call it skill. Somehow, for the past couple of days I have just known when I need to run to the stop so that I don't miss the bus. I'm always a little bit proud when I get to the stop just in time. I'm also always a little proud when I decide I don't want to run, and the bus is a few minutes late.

Today I am in Greenwood getting a head start on next week's schoolwork at Wayward Coffeehouse. I found this place when I tried to get a job here a month or so ago and, even though they didn't hire me, it looked pretty sweet. So, here I am! The barista really liked my Charmander shirt. I mean, who wouldn't? (Sam wouldn't.)

I am getting tired of having so much free time, but at least I am getting some changes of scenery and getting to know Seattle a little better (Seattle really is a cool city).

It is amazing how having free time can suck the life out of me. I mean, I'm not doing anything, but I have little energy and am superly moody. I'm trying to get over this, to make things to do for myself and trick myself into thinking that I have to get them done. It is weird to find myself being somewhat driven by success/accomplishment. I always think and say that following Jesus transcends those things. Yet here I am with all the time in the world to spend getting to know Jesus better and all I can think about is how I'd rather be doing more work/school/anything. I'm such a hypocrite!

Further Adventures

Couch surfing aside, I am having an adventurous time in Seattle. I am still looking for more work and anxiously awaiting the study permit application/decision, but there are cool things for me to do in the meantime.

Since I am a student, I got a little bit of a deal on a transit pass. So, I have one of those that is valid until right around the time I leave. I am doing my best to utilize the transit pass by choosing different neighborhoods to study/read/hang out in. It's pretty fun. Right now I'm in Capitol Hill by myself, sitting upstairs in a coffee/crepe shop called Joe Bar and sipping on an Americano, listening to some Supertramp, doing some people watching, a little reading and writing. Life is good, it seems, when I put in a little effort.

Seattle has so many nooks and crannies. Places to explore. Lots of water and hills and other things that you don't find in Calgary. I don't think I'll ever know all of the ins and outs of this city, but it sure is a good time trying to figure some of them out. If I get really adventurous, I will embark on a ferry adventure or two, just for kicks...

If you want to try and figure out where I've been couch surfing, I think the map on the left is pretty fun. Right now I'm in Northgate. Before that, I was in Green Lake and, before that, Wallingford. I work in Windermere. Do any of the neighborhoods you see on the map sound interesting to you? I'm still thinking of where I want to explore tomorrow....

Couch Surfer Heaven

I have hit the jackpot...

FUTON!

I have been couch surfing for 5 full weeks. I came here to Erin's place on Sunday and it's pretty stinkin' great. Erin is great - she and I were roommates for a few years. That was back in the University days (well, technically I am still in my University days, but it's not the same). It is so sweet chillin' with her and catching up on the last couple of years.

Did I mention she has a futon? I can sprawl! It is glorious. Also, Erin is a muffin maker (I call her the muffin man... I'm not sure if she knows I call her the muffin man). She makes muffins on Wednesdays. Breakfast was good today, my friends.

On a completely different topic, I am already starting to feel the pressure of my re-application for a study permit. I'm planning on applying in early December, so that is only about six weeks away. I am trying to stay busy and avoid thinking too much about it until the time comes to start getting paperwork together. Yet here I am blogging about it. Silly American.

Movin' along...

I am into my fourth week of couch surfing. Actually, I was floor surfing this past week. I have been sleeping really well on the floor, but I have had crazy dreams almost every night. Also, I am finding some large knots in my back. I think Lindsey got a couch delivered to her apartment today, though, so it should be a little cozier tonight.

Overall, Seattle has been a good time so far. I am getting a lot of chill time with some of my favorite university friends, I am enjoying the randomness of the University District (yesterday a girl walked by a window i was sitting next to with a cat perched on each shoulder), I am eating a lot of good food, and I am getting a lot of work done in the class I am taking, Philosophy 101. I am actually enjoying the class more than I expected to. It is not as floaty as I thought it would be and I am really loving that it is online. I am more articulate as a writer than I am as a speaker, so that works for me.

There are certainly ups and downs to the whole deal, but there are ups and downs everywhere. I am mostly doing OK. Having been pulled out of a place I love is still hard to handle some days, but I am discovering that I haven't been transplanted to a bad place. It is good. It is not what I wanted, but I didn't ask God to give me what I wanted, I asked him to give me what He wanted. Now I'm trying to want what He wants, but it is hard to get past my own agenda.