Fight!

Things today are a little bit crazier, but a little bit more promising. I am therefore a little bit less of a mess. Thankfully.

My interview is now happening before school starts (in about a week), so that is a huge improvement on yesterday's situation. Now I just have to scramble to get a whole slew of paperwork together to convince them that I will be a good, financially responsible student here in Canada.

Here we go.

Fight or flight?

Today I came face to face with the fact that I might be leaving here really soon. Instead of a study permit, I have been given an interview time where I will have the chance to show whether or not I have sufficient funds to be a student in Canada. The interview is not until September 17, which is after school starts. My savings account is not all that impressive and I fully expect to be rejected for a study permit on those grounds. I should be more optimistic than this, but I'm not having an optimistic sort of day.

I could do everything in my power to stay here in Calgary even though I'm almost sure I can't stay here as a student. I might be able to find some sort of job here and get a work permit, I don't know.

I could go back to the states and find a job. That seems like the easy answer but it is also the answer that I hate. I love it here and am really torn up by the prospect of leaving.

I don't know what to do and I'm kind of a mess.

New Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to God,

Who created all people in all nations and all the earth,

Who loves all of His children extravagantly,

Who forgives generously,

And whose kingdom lasts forever.

Upside Down Pt. 1

I think it's a good idea to question some of the things that people expect you to accept, even if doing so might put you against the flow. The first time I remember really questioning something that was the status quo was in grade 8/8th grade.

Something that you may or may not know about American public schools is that the students stand and say a pledge of allegiance every morning. It is just one of those things you start doing when you're five years old and don't really question.

A friend of mine who happened to be a Johovah's Witness would never stand or say the pledge of allegiance, so one day I asked her why. She told me that she only pledges her allegiance to God. That made so much sense to me! But, being a new Christian, I wasn't sure whether or not I should say it. All the other Christians stood and said the pledge of allegiance, so I kept on doing it, too, even though I started feeling weird about it.

Then, one day in high school, I stood for the pledge of allegiance and just couldn't make myself say it. I had become convinced and convicted over those couple of years that pledging allegiance to a flag is pretty blatant idolatry, so I just stopped doing it.

The Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America

and to the Republic for which it stands

One nation under God, Indivisible

With liberty and justice for all

My point is not that we should all stop saying the pledge of allegiance, rather that we should think about the things we are doing and, if they seem wrong, then maybe they are wrong and maybe we should stop doing them.

Choke

I've had a problem with my yawns lately. For some reason, every time I yawn, I start to choke on my uvula. Then I stop yawning, have a little cough, and I'm fine. So I guess it's really no big deal.

Blog

I really enjoyed that month off from blogging. I'm not actually sure if I like blogging anymore. I guess I'll give it another shot and if I still don't like blogging I will call it quits.

I went to BC last week with Sam! It was fun. Blackberries were out in full force. Before we left Calgary, I was starting to dislike blackberries because the ones you can buy at the store here are just not good. But I rediscovered my love for them by eating lots and lots of them right off the bush. I was so excited by how good those blackberries tasted. From now on, I think I'll only eat them if they are fresh-picked.

Anyways, the trip was good. I had a couple of "rough" days, but I have such great friends that I was thankful for those days, too.